Done got mah edumacation!

Just wanted to write real fast, because it's late, and since I don't even have my desk chair in here yet, I'm kneeling on the ground to write it (so not comfy):

I graduated from college today!

I have a bachelor's degree! I'm alumni! No more homework EVER if I want! And I'm happy (and smug) to say that tonight I got in almost one hour after BYU-Idaho curfew.

Why, you ask?

BECAUSE I DON'T GO THERE ANYMORE! THAT'S WHY, SUCKERS!!! MUAH HA HA HA HAAAA!!!

Tradeoff is, I have to get a job and be a grown-up now.

...Phooey.

Well, I personally think purple and green go great together...

Officially moved into my pretty new apartment today, and it was so cool to put stuff wherever I wanted it and to just know that the place is mine. I'll have a roommate, but I could kick her out if I wanted to (not that I would, because she's awesome).

Jason and his friend brought up my free table and loveseat-with-the-dog-bite-in-front, both from the Family Crisis Center. (Don't worry, we steam-cleaned the couch before it was allowed into my place.) I also scored a sweet set of pots there yesterday. Yeah for connections! He was helping me with lots of stuff, and we sat down to rest on the loveseat. I felt strangely like we were already married and it was our first place, especially when we started kissing, and most especially when we argued good-naturedly about color schemes and decorating matters.

I love Jason so much, and want to marry him. Not tomorrow or anything, but we're so close, and he's so incredible, I truly can't imagine being without him. And although it's quite selfish, because I definitely want him for myself, I want to make him happy, too.

Hopefully I'll never have to be without him.

P.S. Rob finally sent me the pics of me 'n the fam at the temple. Awww. I miss it. I can't wait to go back and visit it next week. And go to the dedication!

gettin' better

Quick note: don't you love it when it seriously feels like everything sucks, your worst worries are coming true, nothing will go right (wait for it), and then it all gets better, even though you were sure it wouldn't and you were doomed? Maybe not all better, but much, much better. I love that. It's the best. Sleep well, world.

Jumping on the blog bandwagon.

So. Been reading friends' blogs, especially Christy's, for awhile now and thought it was intriguing, sort of an online venting system. Also, seems like a good way to see what's going on with people when you can't get ahold of them to find out. So here I go with my own blog, assuming that someone will actually want to know what's going on with me or what I'm feeling. If not, heck, it's kinda fun anyway.

I'm focused on graduating on Friday, my family coming up, finals, moving, clean check, and my relationship with Jason (not in that order). Our relationship is definitely going better than it was two days ago, thank goodness. He is still coming with me to California, and he still loves me. I hate feeling unsure, though. I was confident before, where I thought nothing could make him stop loving me. But when it looked like I might lose him, I started to second-guess myself and worry about every little thing I did. Like, if there is something wrong and he can't figure out what, and he's trying to decide if I'm right for him, what if I say the wrong thing and he takes that as a sign that it just won't work? Whereas before it was a difference we could work out or live with, now it might be a "sign" of something.

But I should just be glad that we're better, that everything isn't weird all the time anymore, and I am. But I have to admit that I feel a little different. I'm sure it'll pass. Sometimes I really do wish we were already married so it wouldn't be a question of breaking up, but an issue of, how are we going to work this out? But I love him. Barring unforseen circumstances that maybe Heavenly Father can see (but I hope not!), I could marry him and be happy. I know I could. And I want to! We just need to give it more time.

Well, that's my first blog. Not as pretty or poetic as Christy's blogs, but Rome wasn't built in a day.