So. Been reading friends' blogs, especially Christy's, for awhile now and thought it was intriguing, sort of an online venting system. Also, seems like a good way to see what's going on with people when you can't get ahold of them to find out. So here I go with my own blog, assuming that someone will actually want to know what's going on with me or what I'm feeling. If not, heck, it's kinda fun anyway.
I'm focused on graduating on Friday, my family coming up, finals, moving, clean check, and my relationship with Jason (not in that order). Our relationship is definitely going better than it was two days ago, thank goodness. He is still coming with me to California, and he still loves me. I hate feeling unsure, though. I was confident before, where I thought nothing could make him stop loving me. But when it looked like I might lose him, I started to second-guess myself and worry about every little thing I did. Like, if there is something wrong and he can't figure out what, and he's trying to decide if I'm right for him, what if I say the wrong thing and he takes that as a sign that it just won't work? Whereas before it was a difference we could work out or live with, now it might be a "sign" of something.
But I should just be glad that we're better, that everything isn't weird all the time anymore, and I am. But I have to admit that I feel a little different. I'm sure it'll pass. Sometimes I really do wish we were already married so it wouldn't be a question of breaking up, but an issue of, how are we going to work this out? But I love him. Barring unforseen circumstances that maybe Heavenly Father can see (but I hope not!), I could marry him and be happy. I know I could. And I want to! We just need to give it more time.
Well, that's my first blog. Not as pretty or poetic as Christy's blogs, but Rome wasn't built in a day.
No comments:
Post a Comment