Things have been good, but still a little hard. Sales have not been plentiful, the temp agency has not found a job for me. I'm trying harder to make up for my lack of job (and lack of desire for one, to be quite frank) by being a better housekeeper, and my garden is doing well. The first cherry tomato will probably be ripe enough to pick by tomorrow, though I'm not sure I want to pick it. Two months of willing it to grow and turn red, just to pop it in my mouth for two seconds of rapture before it gets mixed up with all the acids in my stomach? I wish I could frame it. And I think there might be actual tiny pods forming on the snap pea plants! Plus I have sixteen snapdragons growing, and one tall cornflower that should bloom soon. So it may not be worth the investment financially, paying for seeds, soil, pots, and cages, but I love my new hobby. I could hang out there with my plants all day. (Don't worry, though. I don't talk to them or anything. Much.)
That's really what I wanted to say--what I have to be grateful for. Yeah, this is not the miracle job we thought it would be, where you earn oodles of money right off. Maybe that can still happen before the summer's over. But we're doing okay. We pay our tithing, we try to be very frugal, and everything always comes out okay. We have so much to be grateful for.
I've made a new policy: I try to go out of the apartment (in the car, anyway) as little as possible, and I try to stay completely away from places where I want to spend money unnecessarily. I try not to even drive by them. Why bother going to Target, Kohl's, or even Wal-Mart except when I really need to? I just get discouraged at all the stuff that I see and can't buy. At first I was trying to be super wife, making a nice meal every night. But it's really not so terrible to have just a can of chili for dinner, or a grilled cheese sandwich, and have a nicer dinner maybe 2-3 times a week. I haven't been grocery shopping in maybe two weeks, but before I was always "needing" something else, some ingredient to some new dish I wanted to make, or some snack food it just seemed natural to have, and it sure added up.
Yesterday I worked out with Jason before he went to work. That was awesome. Then I talked to my mom for an hour and a half, took care of my garden (yay!), put on my swimsuit, and went to the pool. I even took a small, healthy lunch with me. There's something about eating outdoors. I have a pretty aqua-blue towel that I bought for swimming (about the color of this font, in case you missed the connection), and just looking at it, and sitting in the warm sunshine with a good book from the library made me happy. Yeah, eventually we'll need more if we want to start a family, but for now, so much in life is good. Most especially Jason. I never in my life thought I would land such a wonderful, caring, loving husband. How can I be truly unhappy, knowing I have him?
I really need to start a gratitude journal. I spend too much time worrying, and not enough time counting my blessings. I think this was my first entry.
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